The Need To Be Social

Why?  Why is it the perceived norm that everyone should ‘join in’ with everything and have crowds of friends?

Why can’t the loners be … well, loners?

There was a time when it was accepted that not everyone was wired to be in a crowd.  That some people worked better on their own.  In fact, when you look back, many inventions and discoveries, much art and music, came from such people.  People who were allowed to be who they were.

I have three children who are all, in some degree, loners.  They’re naturally the ones who gravitate to the quieter areas of life.  They’re the ones who would rather have their nose buried in a book, or be taking apart and rebuilding some gadget or other.  But they’re not allowed to ‘be’.  Every suggestion and implication from the adults in their world, from society, is that they’re not doing it right.  That they need to join a club, join a team, constantly be surrounded by friends.  That the fact they are sometimes picked on for who they are is somehow their fault for not being someone else

But what if they don’t want to change.  What if they CAN’T change?  What if they’re not sporty or musical (because that’s all that’s on offer)?  What if the very people who cause them problems are the ones in those groups?

Why should the loners be the ones to have to change their whole self to fit in?

Why can’t they be allowed to not fit?  To not conform?  To find their own place in the world?

Or, if it’s so important to them, why can’t the others change instead?

Just a thought.